So, You Want to Be an Artist

Hi. So, it turns out there’s more to being a professional artist than just making art… who knew, right? Yeah, well you actually have to be a business manager, a social media manager, a sales manager, a customer service specialist, an operations and inventory specialist, plus a bunch of other things. Oh, and an artist, but not just any artist, you need to be a uniquely you artist. You need to have some sort of edge or identifying trademark or style that sets you apart, otherwise you just blend in. And even if you have all that, you really have to be a pro at marketing yourself or it may not matter. And as silly as it may sound, I kind of lived in this delusional little world of thinking that I could just be an artist and that would be enough. I thought I could go online, post a little pic, enter some shows, and my work would speak for itself and that would be all there is to it. But the reality is, I’ve found myself in this progression paralysis. While I’ve tried a few things here and there I’m missing a foundational piece to propel myself forward: a consistent online presence. So now I’m trying to navigate the digital realm and figure out how I fit in the algorithm, how to reach the people that will resonate with my work, how to find the right galleries for me, and honestly, it’s really hard.

The part I find most challenging is that I do want to grow on social media. I want to gain a following and create a platform for me to share my work with people it will resonate with, because while it’s pretty to say I paint for myself, that wouldn’t be the whole truth. I don’t paint to stack my work in the corners of dark closets never to see the light of day, I paint to connect with people in a way that I can’t otherwise. My paintings, and I guess -now this blog, are ways for me to put down the mask I wear all the time and allow myself to be a little out of my comfort zone and to be a little more exposed, a little more vulnerable. There are so many layers to who we are as people, and for a long time I painted what I considered to be the acceptable layers. the boring surface layers, and honestly that’s the exact reason my work lacked depth for so long. And now I am working on that. I’m working on painting things that make me feel something, and I want to share it with you all, and I want to do it in an honest, real way rather than some copy and paste caption formula that maybe in my head made it easier because then I wasn’t putting myself out there as much. But I’m struggling with that the most.

If I paint because it’s how I communicate levels of vulnerability that I’ve never been comfortable speaking about, how do I then turn around and post about them? How do I find the right words for something I didn’t have words for? See… I’m already overthinking it and I’ve not even really started yet. Annnnnnd what if no one likes this weird, kind of dark, raw honesty? I mean, come on, I’m clearly not a super bubbly personality. I am cynical to a fault, wrapped in anxiety that deflects with sarcasm, and sometimes a little too honest, in a kind of off-putting way. I am not a ray of sunshine, and I really am very okay with that, but it does leave me wondering who wants to read the posts from a deranged little rain cloud?

Anyway, I am still trying to figure it all out, obviously. And while this post was supposed to be a somewhat concise announcement for the changes coming, it kind of got away from me a bit. I’ll probably think about rewriting it a few times, and maybe even deleting it (I’m already thinking about deleting it), but the truth is this is the perfect little dose of chaos, and a longwinded way to announce that I think I need a fresh start for my art career and especially on social media. What I was doing wasn’t working because it wasn’t me. So, I have decided to delete all (or at least most) of my Instagram posts and completely rehaul my website. My newer work will definitely stay. I will likely repost those pieces over the next few weeks with some more genuine and authentic capti0ns. I’m also going to try to write more blog entries about the inspiration behind my work, the thoughts and intentions that went into specific pieces, and anything I learned along the way. My old work (the things I painted before my hiatus) may make an appearance in a future blog post, but I don’t think they have a place on my website or Instagram anymore. I’m proud of everything I learned during those early years, but I’m ready to say goodbye to that version of me.

So yeah, thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope this new chapter is the start of really great things to come.